When things don’t go as planned

Nothing in life ever seems to go as planned.  At least that’s what I’ve found.  You think your life is on the path that it is meant to be on and all of the sudden the path is gone.  Life as you know it has changed.  I’m sure that sounds over dramatic, and if you know me, you aren’t surprised.  Having spent a good amount of my life in the theater, drama is my thing.  But I’m off topic.

Things in the Rose house seemed to be going on a great plan.  Me, a work at home Mom with a moderately successful Pampered Chef business.  My husband was doing well.  Then in the blink of an eye, things changed.

About 2 months ago I decided to come out of retirement and go back to work as a Nail Technician for an awesome Salon.  For my local peeps, it’s Rock Your Locks in Brandon.  Although The Pampered Chef is still something I enjoy doing, and will continue it for the foreseeable future, It was time to get out of the house.  All of my kids are in school, and I needed to do something that was just for me.  And I am loving every second of my time there!  I’ve also finally decided to do something that I have been planning for years.  I’m writing a book.  Yes, it’s a sappy romance, because they are so much fun to write!  I’ve started and stopped so many over the years, but this one is more than halfway done!  Can’t wait to be able to write the blog that tells you where and when you can get a copy for yourself!  But back to the point…

Suddenly, I am the sole income earner for our family.  Without going into all of the gory details, let’s just say, it is for the best right this moment, but it is a lot of pressure on me.  Pressure that I am just not used to.  So I ask you, what do you do when life changes course on you so drastically?  I had a few options.  I could wallow in the depression of knowing that I would be doing without some things for a while.  I could let the pressure get to me so badly that I just stop.  Or I could realize that this job that I wasn’t looking for happened for a reason.

I’m going to be quite honest.  Going back to work has been a blessing for more than one reason.  It’s my safe place. A place to escape everything that isn’t going quite like I wanted in my life.  A place that I laugh all of the time.  So I decided that instead of wallowing in self pity as I’m normally prone to do, I will use our current circumstances as a kick in the ass to build both of my businesses and to finish my book.

Why am I telling you all of this?  Because one day, I’m going to be amazingly successful (I’m throwing that shit out to the universe!), and I want it out there that no matter how you start out in life, you end up where you were meant to be!

Remember me?

motherhood

Wow!  I was just looking at my last post and realized that it has been a very long time since I’ve written a blog!  I have to be honest, there have been some very major changes in my life and I’ve been a bit overwhelmed.

Today I want to talk to my fellow moms.  We understand each other on a level that no one else will ever be able to.  I’m relatively certain that we’ve all gone through similar struggles.  If my words today can help even one of you, then my job is done!

It goes without saying that the single biggest joy in my life are my children.  From the moment they moved in my belly, I was in love.  Possibly even before then.  I also know that being a mom is quite possibly the hardest job in the world.  As I’ve said before, I have 4 children.  My step son is 20 and not living here at the house.  The three that are still here under this very tiny roof are 10, 8 and 5.  My children are very busy little people.  The boys just finished fall baseball (insert BIG sigh of relief) and my daughter is in cheer and chorus.  That doesn’t sound like much for her, I know.  But let’s keep in mind that she’s 8 and being in cheer doesn’t mean just the 2 nights a week practices that she has!  It means tumbling classes, private tumbling lessons, stunt lessons…the list goes on.  I honestly thought All Star Cheer would be less hectic than Rec, but I now realize it’s more so, I just get to be inside rather than outside in the hot Florida summer!

So let’s talk about my current struggles.  My amazing husband, in an effort to better our lives, took a new job.  The biggest caveat to this job?  He is out of state 4 to 5 days a week.  During baseball I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown.  My daughter’s practices and my sons’ games couldn’t all fall neatly onto my calendar.  We had some doubling up.  I thank God every day for my mother in law that came over every single week to help me.Through baseball I had to deal with my 10 year old feeling sad that he is not as good of an athlete as my 5 year old.  As much as I try to tell him that not every boy is athletic, he still felt bad.  He did his very best, bless his heart, but will not be returning for Spring Ball.  We’re going to try something else for him.  We’re having school struggles this year, and although I would love to blame common core for all of it, I know that isn’t true.  But what is a mother to do when the teacher tells me that he isn’t paying attention and he comes home crying that he was, but they just thought he wasn’t.  I already have him on medication for his ADHD and this year it just doesn’t seem to be helping.  As a result, his grades are suffering.  I cry inside and sometimes outside because I just don’t know what to do!  I’m at the point that I am going to go observe his class to figure out what the problem is!  I can think of no other viable solutions!  He informed me that since he is punished from TV and video games until his grades improve, that he doesn’t live in a house, he lives in a prison.

So let’s move on to my daughter.  Heaven help me, but I am not a fan of the age of 8!  My former sweet little princess has turned into a headstrong, stubborn teenager way before her time!  Her favorite past time is NOT listening to me at all.  I think I’ve begged and/or bribed her to clean her room every day for about a month and it just gets worse.  So tomorrow I will be making good on my threat to clean her room myself while she is at school and believe me she is NOT going to be a happy camper.  New rule…if it’s on the floor when you go to school…it’s in the trash!  Time to stop being friends for a minute and be a mom.  I know you know exactly what I mean.  It kills me to have to be “MOM” but she’s forced me into it!  She’ll hate me for about 10 minutes and then all will be well again.  But that 10 minutes will be torture for me!

And finally my 5 year old.  Unfortunately, since he was VERY premature and spent the first 7 weeks of his life in the NICU (even though he was born 12 weeks early), I have spoiled and babied him.  He is speech delayed, but is in a regular kindergarten class.  He receives speech services.  He is currently an honor roll student and I couldn’t be prouder.  So, what’s the problem you ask?  He’s very whiny has “has to be first” syndrome. Yes, I made that up!  It is a struggle that his teacher has and a struggle that I have.  Although I will admit.  There is improvement.

All of this I deal with mostly on my own because of my husband’s work schedule.  And now we come to the reason for this topic.  I broke down today.  I sat in my office and just cried.  I cried for the simpler times when my kids were younger and all they wanted to do was please.  I cried for my lack of ability to figure out how to help these little people that depend on me for everything.  I cried for a time when schoolwork was actually something I was capable of helping with before it got so complicated.  And I cried for me.  Because I’m alone more often than not and I have no one to lean on until the weekend appears.  I’m here to tell you that it’s okay!  It’s okay to feel overwhelmed.  It’s okay to feel frustrated.  And it’s okay to cry!  I’m also here to tell you that once you get in that really good cry, pull up your big girl panties and figure out what the hell you are going to do about it!  I have lived in a constant state of depression lately and everything has suffered.  My kids, my house, my business.  So tonight, while I was writing this, I decided that it’s time to just figure it out.  Why?  Because I’m a mom and that’s what I do!  People tell me all of the time that I’m Super Mom…I can promise you that I struggle the same as the rest of you.

So until next time…I’ll be here…figuring it all out!!

xoxo mothers

I never used to believe things happened for a reason…………

Until today!  People tell you that all of the time.  Everything happens for a reason.  Normally I would give them a side eye and pretend to agree.  But if I’m being completely honest with you, and myself actually, I firmly believed that life was a series of random events that shaped us into who we are.  I still believe that the events in our lives make us who we are, but maybe they aren’t so random.

So what made today different than most days?  An experience that I had this morning!  As most of you know, I am currently on the MediFast diet, which in the weight loss phase is very strict.  So with the exception of my trip to Toronto (UH-MAZING TRIP BTW!)…I haven’t been to Starbucks since I started.  Most of you don’t know me, except for what you read here, but I am a Starbucks addict.  Ok…coffee in general (as I sit here with my nightly cup in hand!)  And believe me when I tell you, my Starbucks visits are loaded with calories (Venti Double Shot White Chocolate Mocha with Whipped Cream..ahem!). So I’ve been avoiding.  And what makes it worse is that I pass it 4 times a day taking my kids to camp and picking them up!  I promise I do have a point here that is not related to my caffeine addiction!

This morning, I really wanted some Starbucks.  Having it again in Toronto made it worse!  So my plan was to stop and get a non fat latte with 2 splendas.  As I got closer, I was concerned about my ability to have any willpower AT ALL and I drove past.  It then became a mission.  I was going to Starbucks and I WAS GOING TO BEHAVE! So I did a u-turn and headed back.  Into the drive thru I go…I order my non fat latte with a double shot (ok..ok!) and head to the window.  There have been times where I have paid for the person behind me in line.  Today was one of those days.  I paid for the car behind me and moved on.  Never expected to hear another thing about it.

Obviously you realize that I’m telling you this for a reason.  I got home and sat down at my computer to do some work.  And I get a private message on Facebook from a friend with a screenshot.  The screenshot was of a post in a group that she was in, thanking the person in the car in front of her for paying for her order this morning.  That her day had been hectic already.  She was surprised so she paid for the guy behind her.  She remembered the Pampered Chef logo on the back on my truck and was very close on remembering my name! So my friend asked if that was me!

Normally, I probably would have smiled and moved on.  But I messaged the person in the car behind me to thank her for her sweet words.  She asked me for the link to my Facebook page and I have gotten quite a few new fans and some very lovely posts and messages all day!  So I asked myself.  Who would I have been in front of if I hadn’t passed it first.  Or why did I turn around and go back at all!  I may not know the reason right now, but I KNOW that I landed in front of her because there is some kind of plan.

It made me think of some other events in my life that I thought random.  I’m going to take two that stand out right now.  And I’ve talked about Heather before.  I’m going to talk about her again now.  She comes to mind immediately, probably because I just took a trip to Toronto with her and I’m talking to her right now. LOL  But 17 years ago when I was an IT Headhunter, her resume landed on my desk.  I interviewed her for a great start up and she got the job.  She didn’t take it…but she got it.  We hit it off immediately.  And now 17 years later, we’re still amazingly close friends!  Maybe not so random??

Scenario #2 – 13 years ago, I was bored one night and put an ad on a singles site online.  2 days later this guy answered my ad.  Our 12 year wedding anniversary is next month.  Random??

So what started out to be an innocent random act of kindness, may have been a thought and life changing experience for me!  I’m looking forward to seeing exactly why I landed in front of this amazing woman at the Starbucks drive thru!

Responsibility

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We are leaving in 4 days for Toronto.  And Heather mentioned today that we will have 4 days with no responsibility!  It made me think.  When was the last time that happened??

Looking back on my life, I realize that I’ve always been pretty responsible.  Always checked in with my parents, so I never had a curfew.  I’ve been working at least 1 job since I was 15 years old, most of the time 2.  I started my Pampered Chef business right after I got married, and at the time I was working 2 jobs and going to school.  Now I’ve got 4 of the greatest kids anyone could ever ask for and a pretty darn good husband as well.  But I had to ask myself.  How often do I just have FUN?  Even when I’m out, I’m thinking about what I have to do at home.  When was the last time I was just ME?  I can’t even remember!

Now I am faced with the fact that I am going to be out of the country for 4 days!  And although my family will always be on my mind, because I know how hard it is going to be to be away from them, this is truly going to be an opportunity to start to remember who I am again!  I spend so much of my life being someone’s mother or wife.  This is 4 days to just be ME!  In a way, it’s a little scary!

But I believe that Heather an I are in the same head space right now.  We both need to figure out who we are and what we really want to be when we grow up.  It will be a chance for both of us to do something neither of us EVER does…truly let loose!  And I think that even though we’ve been friends for 17 years, this will be a bonding experience that we need.  We’ve hung out quite a bit over the years, we’ve even done various business ventures together.  However, in all of those years, we’ve never just had uninterrupted time to hang out and just BE!  Travelling with friends is always fun (I’m sure), but doing it with one that truly understands where you are in your life is priceless!  Especially one that you can totally geek out with and they won’t judge!! Because I promise you, there will be  A LOT of geeking being done in Toronto!!!!

For anyone that doesn’t know WHY we chose Toronto, you’ll find out soon enough!  I can pretty much guarantee that next week’s blog is going to be a crazy excited mess!!  You may even get more than one!!!  I may be inspired while I’m there!

Keeping it interesting

I love to cook, obviously…so sticking to the 5 and 1 plan through MediFast can sometimes be a challenge.  I am still cooking all of this amazing food for my family…food that I can’t eat!  I take that back…food that I CHOOSE not to eat!  Because everything I do in regard to my health is a choice.  I find that my lean and green meal (the one that I can prepare for myself daily) can get rather boring.  Picture this…one lean protein and 3 servings of veggies every night.  How creative can you really be??

That’s where me LOVING food and loving to experiment comes in handy.  Although I have to credit my uber supportive husband for this idea.  My new mission…take as many recipes from my cookbooks, cooking magazines and cooking shows as possible and adjust them to fit my new, healthier lifestyle!  This will get a lot easier in time, when my restrictions lighten a bit.  But as for right now, the challenge is fun!  I am immersing myself in the book written by the doctor that created the Medifast plan.  The more I read, the more creative I can become.  So picture me sitting on my couch at night….Dr. A’s book in one hand…My tablet in the other looking at cookbooks and cooking magazines, and a notebook in my lap while watching Pretty Little Liars on the DVR.  Yep, that will be me tonight!  I’ve completely thrown myself into this new project and I plan to share the successful ones with others that are on this journey…or any other health journey!!  I may even post a few here in this blog!

I do have to admit that being a Pampered Chef consultant comes in VERY handy for this!  My tools make my prep work so much quicker and easier, which is important when you are cooking two completely different meals pretty much nightly!  And when I DO have time to cook my meals ahead of time, my leak proof glass storage containers are a LIFE saver!

As I’ve said before, I tend to quit diets before I reach my ultimate goal.  So I think I’ve found a way around that!!  🙂

Let it Go!

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I know, I know…I’ve now put the song in your head and you’re ready to punch me!  But there is a reason for the title!

Just like the weight I’ve been holding on to for years now, I tend to hold on to everything.  I hold a grudge…I hold on to sadness…you name it.  That is what I consider to be my biggest flaw and what causes me the most stress.

So thus begins another journey.  One to learn to LET IT GO!  The start to this will be my 4 day vacation to Toronto with one of my very best friends, Heather.  We are both in a similar place in our lives, so along with having an amazing few days together…it is our goal to start letting go of the things that are holding us back from what we want.

So with that in mind.  It’s time to let a few other things go.  First, apparently I must have screwed up my diet somewhere that I am not aware of, because I am up 4 pounds since last week.  Now normally, this would upset me so much that I would just give up and say, ok…I’m fat…that’s the way it’s going to be!  Obviously this diet, like every other one isn’t going to work for me. Yes…this is a conversation I’ve had with myself often!  Instead of giving up, I’m going to be more careful about tracking my food and water to be sure that I’m not going off plan even a little!  What makes this time different?  Me!  I’m different.  I want to be around when my kids are older.  I want to see them get married, I want to see my grandkids.  Which will NOT happen if I continue on my current path with my health.

Along that same lines, I have to let go of what other people think of me.  I live my life with integrity and I own everything I do.  I own my mistakes and don’t try to place the blame on anyone else. Sometimes I am misunderstood.  And that’s ok.  Take the time to talk to me and I will explain.  But choose to just walk away, and from now on, that’s on you. I’ll still be here if you choose to seek me out, but I’m not chasing people and begging them anymore.

I’m sure there is WAY more, but these are the things on my mind right now.  🙂

This is the dawn of a very new me.  My trip is going to help me make HUGE strides.  And I’m so excited to see the results!

Choices

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I was on a call with my Health Coach and some other women tonight and it made me start to really think about choices.  I was telling them about the challenges that I faced with my birthday on Saturday.  I’ll be the first to admit…I cheated on the diet a little bit. I had a drink, first one in a month.  Although I didn’t eat anything really that I wouldn’t eat normally lately, I ate a little  more than normal.  Popcorn at the movies…and a tiny bit of ice cream cake with the kids.  All choices!  So when I stop on the scale and don’t see as big of a change as I want, I know that it was my choice.  Could I have made better choices? Absolutely!  Should I have?  Probably.  But that is the beauty of life.  We make our choices!

The problem is…once we make those choices…are we willing to live with the consequences?  In this particular case…it will take me slightly longer to reach my goal, but I can live with it.  Some choices are so much harder.  

I started to think about choices I’ve made throughout my life.  At the time I didn’t realize they were choices I was making.  But looking back at them, every one of them, no matter how hard, has made my life now that much better!  The choice not to chase that boy in high school that was the love of my life after we broke up.  Result?  I met and married my husband and now have 4 amazing kids.  The choice to stop singing and performing in front of a live audience…I now have a career with a company I believe in, selling a product that I love, teaching women how to cook healthy meals for their families in less time and for less money.  All the while I am able to stay home and be here for every aspect of our lives!  I have made some amazing friends and learned so much!  Giving up on health and fitness after I had kids because I was too “busy” to keep up.  Result…I was introduced to my fantastic new health coach and this product I would have never had to seek out before! And knowing about this product, I can help those around me by introducing them to it and giving them their choice!

Those are the three biggest choices that stand out to me as having shaped who I am and where I am today.  And although my life isn’t perfect, it’s a good one. And I’m happy with who I am right now.  As I’m starting to be more comfortable with my outward appearance, I am realizing that more and more.  I am realizing more and more how blessed I am and am starting to appreciate what I have, and not spending so much time wishing I had something different.  Do I wonder what would have happened if I had made different choices?  Yes, absolutely. That’s just human nature.  But as I sit here writing this blog, I realize…that even in my tiny cluttered house, I’m happy.  And that’s all any of us really want…isn’t it?

Think about some of the choices you made and maybe regret…how have those decisions changed your life for the better? Feel free to share them in the comments!!